I often wonder the point of being nice to people when all your best efforts yield no fruit. I try talking to people and being pleasant and all I get is more of the same. I have about 3 friends within a 20 mile radius. Impressive, eh? Considering that number is actually lower than about 6 months ago, I think I see what's going on.
Well, a good part of it is that folks are so dang close-minded, and frankly, fake here. So many folks I've thought would make great pals have turned around and shoved the dagger behind me. It aggravates me. I try finding redeeming values for the people here...and that's harder than finding Charlie Sheen at a Mensa meeting, or the next Dalai Lama amongst the Spice Girls. It's really stunning when I realise that I've spent almost a year here and no progress have been made. I've -never- been one to have hatred until lately. I've had a happy childhood with parents who love me, but I cannot tolerate being treated like utter trash time and time again. It drives me sick, and I'm so much better than that. Self-esteem is always something that really delivers. If I had less of it, I'd be hating myself right now, so I'm extremely lucky and blessed.
For my dear readers who have been loyal to me for the last 2 or so years, you are all amazing folks. My advice to all of you guys is to remember who you are and never compromise your self-respect and your beliefs at any cost. I compromised and it has led down the path of hopelessness. So, to end this, to all my friends and family, no matter where you live, you mean something to me. For everybody else, I have nothing for you.